What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

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How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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What did the drunk homeless man get for his birthday? Liver cancer.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

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Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

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An ant walks into a bar. Nobody Notices...

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What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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