What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you cross bread an eagle, a wolf and shark together? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it will kill all of us!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock. Get out!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I C U P White stuff

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats the difference between a black guy and and an asian person... who cares kill them both

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops