Shakespeare walks into a bar, Having just seen someone that has been dead for over 400 years, the young man in the corner quits his drug addiction; it was clearly messing with his brain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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What did the black guy say to the Jewish guy when it began to rain? It's raining.

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how do you confuse a brunette? paint yourself red and throw a fridge at her

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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What do you call someone who's father is black (born in Kenya), mother is white (born in Canada), and was himself born in Australia? Someone with tri-citizenship

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What's worse than Jedward? Nothing. They are really and truly awful.

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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V I T A M I N C !

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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What’s the best part about knowing things no one else does? Nothing. I’m schizophrenic and can’t afford medication.

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How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

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Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

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What did Sally get for chirstmas? Cancer

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So three ants are in a straight line. The first ant said there's an ant behind me, the second ant said there's an ant behind me, and the third ant said there's an ant behind me. Why is this? The third ant lied.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

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Did you hear about the one about the man who walked into the library? He likes reading

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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