Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? the redneck got to him first.

Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

Connor is homo

If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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