A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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Why was the Mexican lucky to have a job? Due to the failing economy, lack of available jobs, and amount of people getting laid off, it was considered lucky to have a job.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Why are you so gay? Because I am a homosexual.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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Why did the girl fall over? She was poisoned for being the fairest one of all.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

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What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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So a plane flies into a world trade centre... That's not funny

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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