A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I kinda have a bad memory What are we doing again?

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hi

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You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

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An animal entered my house tonight ! It could only be one thing : A bear or a dog.

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My new friend, aka future fuckbuddy asked me what I do for a living. I told her, I write books. She asked me if I had gotten anything published yet. I told her: EXCUSE ME? DID I SAY I WAS A PUBLISHER? She laughed, for some reason... Good enough of an Antichri... Antijoke.

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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Your mom is over the average weight for a person of here height and age.

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Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

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What did the follower of Neronism say to the follower of Christianity? Nothing, Neronism doesn't exist. -KyuremCult

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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