- Anti Joke

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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Why did the Old man die? He died of old age.

Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

What do you call a black stormtrooper. What ever his name happens to be.

- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

What is grey and cannot fly? A parking lot.

Pigachu is a Porkemon.

Have you heard the joke about the cat? No Are you kitten me

Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

Why was the blonde so dumb? Because she came from a very poor family and could not afford a decent education

Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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