Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

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why do asprins work? Because they're white

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

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Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

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What do you get when you cross Jesus with James Woods? Crucifixion

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How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

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a boy meets a girl the rest is censored

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how do you know if your pleasuring a woman? who cares

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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Three men are facing a firing squad. They are all promptly executed. Even if they were to escape by distracting the executioners, they would no doubt be shot down before they could get for.

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a guy walks into another tall man knowing that he has something weird in his mouth. he pulls out a fly, apologizes for running into him and promptly walks to his small appartment to brush his teeth. the next day a fridge hits him in the face and he spontaneously combusts. he was never seen again.

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Bible Games aka Bible Buffet: SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sometime after the death and return of Superma... Jesus. God: RAISE FROM YOUR GRAVE! Jesus slays holy white beasts: POWER UP! POWER UP! HOMO UP! Uh did he say homo u... ARGH! CANNOT CONTAIN LEVEL OF HOMO! TURNING FURFAG/ALTERED BEAST. A wild Saten appears!: WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM! Jesus used gay wolf punch, it was not very effective... wild Saten uses OMFG HE TEARS OFF HIS OWN HEAD AND THROWS IT AT JESUS! Its super effective! Jesus Dies. Moral: Second coming? He came back to meet his disciples and crap AFTER quoting "ill be back", did he promise some third coming? Is that why people have been waiting for over 2000 years? :P

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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women's rights

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Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

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Two homosexuals walk into a bedroom, and begin to have sex.

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what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

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What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

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why did the man get a divorce? Because his wife had an affair.

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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