Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

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Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

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Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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what do u call a black persons face? a black persons face...

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A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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i like my coffee like i like my women... Without a penis

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What was Joe's old name? Joe, I lied about the old part.

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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