Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

tea with milk?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

What's the same between a white guy and a black guy? They are both white except for the black guy.

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

Girl:Do you wanna hear a joke? Boy:Sure... Girl: jesus loves you

What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

A man, John, is talking amongst a group of friends. He tells a racist joke and sees that one of his colored friends, Mark, is laughing at his joke, but John can tell that Mark's offended. John later apologizes to his friend because that is the right thing to do.

Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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