Knock knock Whos there Bill O hey bill

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

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A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with other men other than her husband.

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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Boxing on Boxing Day

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

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A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

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There is a boy in a school............. SUDDENTLY, PEDOBEAR APPEARS!

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An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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