1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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What's worse than having a spiked club shoved up your butthole? Not much.

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bite me

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why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

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Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

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how many people were on the bus........ 0 cause the bus was parked for 45 years

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

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my wife out of the kitchen

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A: Knock Knock B: The door is open please come in.

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After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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