Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I don't get it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are numerous things worse than finding a worm in your apple. Some include the holocaust and nuclear warfare

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey, wanna hear a penis joke? Nevermind, it's too long.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Waffles ate my grandma

thumb_up thumb_down +10

penis

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock Goodbye

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops