What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

it was all Tagart

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

Roses are red violets are blue I fucked your mom now im about to fuck you to.

Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

What do you call your mom? Mom

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

here's my two cents worth! *hands you two pennies , entire life savings*

Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

An atheist and a priest agree to a public debate. The priest doesn't make much of an attempt to argue because there is a young boy in his podium giving him a handjob.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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