Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

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what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

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Why were the Dinosaurs wiped out? Porridge.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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A program that creates "pointless inventions" and posts them at the wrong sections.

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

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A black kid, a white kid, an Asian, and a Dane all take acid in a room. They have a profound experience and find a greater meaning in life.

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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