Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks " What'll You Have" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck.

Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

Why did Susie start shaking? She had continuous ceasars

Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

So what have you overcome? I mean I know alot about you, but little about your personal deeper self, with that said, you telling me you are some kind of X-men when it comes to genetics?

whats small and sexually confused? YOu

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

What do you call two Japanese men digging through rubble? Worried family members of missing relatives due to the recent devastating tragedy in the island nation of Japan.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

What's worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trash can 1 baby in 10 trash cans

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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