Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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Once upon a time

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing, but he did purchase whiskey with the little money he had to drink away his misery, and to suppress his suicidal thoughts that were a result of his alcoholism which stemmed from his father's abusive nature.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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