Your mom is so fat that she has high cholesterol. Moral: I AM NOT CRAZY! Said the man to the dog.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

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kill yourself....with a cigarette

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

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i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

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whats brown and sticky a stick

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops