Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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Your mom is so fat that I worry she may develop diabetes.

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I have 13 hedge hogs in one hand and 4 pineapples in my van how many pikelets does it take to cover the roof. Purple because aliens dont wear hats.

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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100 chefs walk into a bar

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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Guess What??? Ur Murr

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops