What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q) What do you call a black man swinging from a tree? A) A very silly man as it is potentially dangerous

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the blind, deaf and dumb lady name her kid? Sebastion.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Connor is homosexuaI

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops