- Anti Joke

What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

9 Cats on a boat. One Jumped off, how many left? 8.

Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

Leave. Now.

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

Q. What is the difference between Jesus and and a picture of Jesus? A. It takes one nail to hang the picture Not trying to offend anyone just a joke to be clear

Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

Knock, Knock Who's there? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags

Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

i had sex.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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