knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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star wars kid

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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