HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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Your mom is so old she died

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

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what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

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when trouble come down in your neighborhood who you gonna call? the local law enforcement or another form of personal protection

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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