Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I enjoy Popcorn

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the cancer patient get for his birthday HIV

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than being a Jew in the Holocaust? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the boy punch a little kid in the face? Because he was a bully and liked to feel superior.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? Because he still in the food court at the airport.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black kid on a bike? Dirt bike

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops