Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

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VITAMIN C!

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Terraria

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Ehh

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? the redneck got to him first.

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How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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Roses are red, violets are blue my neighbor is black he will jump you too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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