If god gives you lemons keep the lemon go to the store and buy oranges to make orange juice.

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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hey i just met you.. and this is crazy. but here my facebook so add me maybe!!

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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A Serbian Film

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? With a blindfold

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Many people protest. they go home after a few hours

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What did the mentally disabled child say to the snowman? Mnnghhhmuhmuhhu ooh ooh ooh!

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LO AND BEHOLD!

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What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

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25

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

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A man walks into a bar. -Can I ask where am I? - he sais -Yes, you can. - sais the barman Awkward silence occurs. -Why aren't you asking? I said you can.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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