three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

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One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

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Whats the difference between and ? Blue custard

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Bride: "He went to Jared's!!! Ex: "But every Kiss Begins with Kay...."

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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Two guys were Arguing. (A & B) A. You suck B. If i suck then you choke. A. The only way id choke is if i smelled your stank ass breathe. B. The only way id have stank ass breathe is if i was liking your moms vagina A. The only way my mom's pussy would stank is if you were liking it. B. The only way id be liking your moms pussy is if it were a dick.... Both stare at each other... and walk off awkwardly

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a structure used to support sitting people, the other is a human being native to Mexico.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got run over

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops