What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

What ryhmes with turtle rape

A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

I have a dig bick You that read wrong You read that wrong too You read that again to make sure I'm not fucking with you

why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

Cool I just got a free Minecraft gift code at http://freeminecraftgiftcode.net

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

Yo mama's so fat, I gave her a compliment because we should embrace body acceptance.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...