What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

What's brown and sticky A stick

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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