You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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