What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Why did the little boy sit next to the big boy? Because he wanted to get raped by big Jake!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

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roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

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How tall is a tree? Taller than the ground

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Obama lin Baden.

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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"My, what big teeth you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding Hood. "Because I'm a wolf," explained the wolf. "And I dress in women's clothing because it makes me happier."

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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What is the difference between 10 dead babies and a 1,000,000 dollar car I don't have a 1,000,00 dollar car

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops