Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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hello there i am a male from the small town of balamory and i have just found a very large oblong with an acute right angle strongly attached to the left hand side........do you think i should hand it to the new york extra torestial services ?

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn’t have any arms. like your mom

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What did Little Johny get for Christmas?

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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Penis

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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What's worse than failing a test Drowning

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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whats hard long and has cum in it cucumber

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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I went to a restaurant, but after I ate the food felt sick, then I remembered that I ordered penis with cum Popsicles so I knew it couldn't be the food

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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