Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar, ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When you have read this, you've already read it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops