Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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There was a dog and a cat. What happens next? The cat's not there anymore. Neither is the dog. Can you guess what happend? The dog ate the cat, but the cat was his friend, so the dog committed suicide.

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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Knock knock whos there Ewan Gudgeon *Shoots Himself cause cannot live with hearing tht name*

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

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Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Yo mamas so fat she is obese

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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Why Did The Horse Cross The Road? He Couldn't Because He Was Still-born

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops