How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

 

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

A wanted man walks into a bar. The police come and take him to jail.

Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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