how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because the mas of the ice-cream gathered up enough potential energy to increase the velocity of said ice cream making a mess on the ground.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (Knocker runs for his life).

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Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because goats lay eggs.

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a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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