A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

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what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

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Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

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what do you call it when everyone becomes tolerant about gender identity. whatever pronoun it prefers.

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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What did the Jamacian say to his friends? Yo me Rastas' on de cloud shroud atta boy 9PM we rizzle into da hitasses bar and we order us da drink of "grandpa's cough medicince" me tinks, who grees wid my view od oftaday Rastas?

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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A man is unemployed, ugly, short, fat, smelly and stupid. That's what she said.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Why bouriquet fall off the swing? Ask him.

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An anteatter walks into a bar, the bar tender says "hey renee zellweger"

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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