what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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What do you call a lubia chin jew slave? Kia

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

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what do you call a gay guy? kevin

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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Why did the deaf man ask for directions? He didn't as he knew he wouldnt have a clue what they are on about.

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knock knock, whos there? billy i dont know who you are, please get away from my front door before i call the authorities

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Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

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Hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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