Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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Q: What's worse than both of your parents dying in a terrible car accident? A: Sitting in the back seat with your grandparents.

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You may notice something very odd about this paragraph. There is something strange although you can't figure it out. It is boggling your mind and keeping it from thinking of the real purpose of this paragraph. It is like an enigma in an enigma in an enigma in an enigma. Stop thinking hard and think inside Da Box. I just wasted your valuable time although it's not really valuable if your looking at this website.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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what did the african boy get for christmas? what does his ethnicity or his place of origin have anything to do with what he gets for christmas

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There was once a little boy... Boy: Daddy, I am so proud of you that when I grow up I want to be just like you! God: Son how dareth thou! That is a horribleth and shameful wish! I just called the adoption agency thy areth noteth my... er.. sonneth anymoreth! NOW GO TO HELL! Oh, and you get same powers as I by the way, just for Good measure or something, except I can destroy you whenever I want, I just do not want to because your evil will hopefully make me look good in comparison after I rid the world of the first testament anyways :P Boy: Yay? :( Where is hell by the way? Moral: That little boy grew up to become... SUPERMAN! While Satan never discovered what hell was since its a concept added by corrupt priests around the 1700`s in order to scare people into following their God instead.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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( . Y . )

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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Did you hear about the black kid that had a gun? Yeah, it's a.20 gage that his father bought him for Christmas so that he could go hunting together

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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