Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yes!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Yes!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does two plus two equal? 4

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops