How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Plants come in different colors

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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Your mom.

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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Hitler walks into a bar and is shot on sight

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A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

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whats blue and doesnt like cheese? the sky, i was only messing about the cheese

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

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a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Like my status for a tbh?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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