there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's the difference between a Jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a fireplace while Jews are functioning members of society

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9/11.

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What's brown? My toilet hahaha

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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Why can black people jump shoot and steal? Because society’s stereotypes have influenced people in thinking that African Americans can jump really high, shoot a basketball well and commit theft.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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WOMEN'S RIGHTS

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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