Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

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What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

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What didn't last long? You in the bed

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three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

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The economy.

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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What was Michael Jackson doing at the Dermatologist's office? He was getting a mole on his back examined to be sure it wasn't cancer.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

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Yah? Well your a ********

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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a woman walks into a stall with her five yr old daughter. as the mom starts to due her buisness the girl looks down and asks her mom "Mommy why do u have a beard on ur pe-pe?"

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A drunk guy walks into a bar and falls flat on his back. Upset, he then finds a bathroom. An hour later he is arrested for beating off in the bathroom. off is pressing charges.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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A black guy gets arrested...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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