How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

Why is justin bieber gay? because he is attracted to men

What happened to the cat How should I know it's not my cat

Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

What starts with "p" and ends with "orn" Popcorn

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

What did the pauper want for Christmas? Money

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

Roses are red Violets are blue

black

One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

Why was Hitler a bad person? He cheated at boggle.

Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

A baby seal walks into a club...

There was a mexican and a african in a car, who was driving? The cop, because both of these men are rapists.

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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