Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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What do you call your mother? Mom.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

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What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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Q. What do you call the person that graduated at the bottom of his medical department? A. Doctor

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I AM DISSAPOINTED

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What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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