What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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why did the boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a boat

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Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? (Yes) Okay, you start. (Knock knock). Who's there? ...

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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Winking at old people

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Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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what did Tyrone get for Christmas he got shot by isis

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A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

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You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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