How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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69

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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Why did the priest molest the small boy? Because he can.

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Goat balls.

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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