A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car and laying on the side of the rode for 2 hours then you find out that your wife was cheating on you with her your own brouther

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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RUN

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hey im leon and i love the chuckie

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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Why did the girl fall over? She was poisoned for being the fairest one of all.

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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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