What's the difference between a baby and an egg? One is fun to throw at houses and the other is an egg.

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A black man,a Hispanic man, and a white man are in a race. The white man wins because he took steroids and used somebody else's urine for the drug test.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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save me from the nothing ive become

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

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Why didn't the parachute open? nevermind

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silver bullet?

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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A black guy, Jewish guy, Chinese guy and a normal guy walk into a bar. They were all normal but the race of the last guy could not be easily determined.

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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