A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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Why is Diarreah genetic? It runs in your genes.

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Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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women's rights.

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What's the difference between a horse and a unicorn? Horses are real.

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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This "anti-joke" got me an A+ many many years ago, shortened though, so you can make Your own conclusions. Beware of the rising sight, do not stare at the sunny dry sky... The poles... Do not stare at the blood as it drips it, the sand covered ground soaked red... Cover your ears! The seal is not looking above, with but is shouting to you! "WHY DID YOU FORSAKE ME!!!" HE ASKS AS YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN HIT HIM, smirking sadistically, SMILING, yes... Even LAUGHING! The rain soaks you wet, as the skies themselves cry and hide in shame... ...The seal is broken, so watch as your kin, those among your children twist to hellish beasts whose demon is the only name they bear... Readying to conquer the world! ...Yet they need to be certain, to be certain that your master is gone, yet we have waited FOR TOO DAMN LONG! The master answers no more, darkness covers the skies as the blood soaked earth beyond your feet decays, yet you feel no fear, no adrenaline pumping, no tears, no soul crushing fear! What kind of MONSTER ARE YOU? Darkness falls, you struggle with no defense... No excuse... You BROKE THE SEAL! The first three awaken, as the conquest of this world IS AT HAND OF THE DEMONS! ...This leads to war... To strife, to disease!... Until you cannot run no more... Hope... You fall to your knees saying your last prayers, as the pale one appears before you... Jesus? No, his hateful father which abandoned you over two thousand years ago... ...Salvation you shout to the skies! Our savior is here! As the forces of darkness stare in defeat... Yet as his father, the father of sin, the father of the seal gazes into your soul with red eyes and demonic teeth and laughs, you no longer wonder where is your God, nor what has he become... ...But rather what you made him, the light of glory, now the new KING OF DARKNESS! AND ALL THANKS TO YOU MOCKING THE MEMORY OF HIS SONS DEATH! You had it coming, this world belongs to us... And we are not your kind... TRUE GLORY BE KNOWN TO ALL! THE ERA OF THE TRUE DEMONS IS OVER! ...You are the last remaining, lying on the floor broken, the very last words you hear... ...Revenge is mine! Humanity is dead... You feel the holy spirit, yet all you feel is satisfied quenched screams of centuries, even millenia of revenge... ...Rule new children of the dark, humanity is taking its deepest, saddest last breaths, "The death of my only true son, shall no longer pass me by" God has finally returned... But not to save you... ...God is against you! and you know why FAR TOO WELL!... :You know far too well who I am... But then again, do you know me and what I am at all? You will... Soon enough children of the forsaken one... Because I am his prophet.

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A fat African a rich mexican and a gay guy jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The gay guy because fat Africans and rich Mexicans don't exist

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There is a boy in a school............. SUDDENTLY, PEDOBEAR APPEARS!

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Q: Whats worst then losing your wallet? A: Giving birth to a dead baby.

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Oh, I thought you could tell me. I will ask someone else. See you later.

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Whats the difference between me and a ghost? What? Ghost are not dolphins

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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