Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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why did the Mexican make a burrito for his grandma? it's her favorite food and she has artheritis and its to painful for her to stand long enough to make one herself.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy This song doesn't rhyme PENIS

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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Boxing on Boxing Day

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

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Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and died.

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There is a boy in a school............. SUDDENTLY, PEDOBEAR APPEARS!

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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Whats the difference beetween a pilgrim and a jack-o-lantern? Jack-o-lanters didn't discover america.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

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What's orange and rhymes with a parrot. A carrot

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Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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