Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

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What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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(PC) What did the homosexual man say when accidently sat on a stick? Ouch.

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What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

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How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

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What did the crowd do when a lion walked into the bar? Got up and left because they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

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Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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A black man walks into a Ku Klux Klan meeting.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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What's the difference between a bird? Both legs are the same, especially the left one

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

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almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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