all these jokes are horrible now

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

PENIS :)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken saw some potential food across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a movie theater.and attempts to parate a film. He is then caught by employees of the theater and now faces fines and possible jail time for his actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

thumb_up thumb_down +8

KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops