Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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I C U P White stuff

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

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What do you get when you cross bread an eagle, a wolf and shark together? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it will kill all of us!

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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