Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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2 gays monkeys walk into a bar.........

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One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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What's in a glass and drinky? A drink

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He simply lost grip of the cone and it fell out of his hand

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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how does an Arab scare someone He does a countdown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops